Stop Talking!

Create a Space

Hold Your Judgments

Don't Be a Label Reader

Open Your Mind



Remember Names


Be Aware




Rule #1: Stop Talking!

You can't multi-task speaking and listening. If you're talking, you're not listening. This rule also applies to the talking inside your head. If you're thinking intently about what you want to say, you're not listening to what is being said.


Yin-Yan of Communication


Getting To NO







Rule #2: Create a Space

Create a physical space. Focus on reacting and responding to the speaker. Create, too, a space in your mind for what the speaker has to say. Create a space between your thoughts. Think of listening as a form of meditation. Quiet your mind and focus your attention on listening.


10 Essentials of Communication

5 Listening Techniques

Listen to Emotions





Rule #3: Hold Your Judgments

How often we have passionately expressed a gut reaction only to become turned around and regret what we said after hearing more of the facts? Allow for a thoughtful pause between reacting, a space in which to ask yourself, "Do I have the whole story?"


10 Barriers to Listening

Active Listening

Socratic Questions







Rule #4: Don't Be a Label Reader

People are unique. We tend to create labels like Liberal, Dead Head, Wise Guy, and think we know what's inside. Suddenly, we believe we know everything about someone, but they are not really all alike.


Listen Empathetically

Engage All Your Senses

Wise Listening 360





Rule #5: Open Your Mind

While we may not consciously feel the need to be right, we tend to have certain ideas about reality and feel groundless when they're threatened. Groundless now and then isn't a bad thing. Without it we can't break new ground or find common ground; it's okay to be unsure.



Listen to Your Customers

Selling (and Silence)

Confucius on  Communication

Public Speaking