Values being
created
"If you want to sacrifice the
admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." –
Katharine Hepburn
"I never knew what real
happiness was until I got
married and by then it was too late."
–
Max Kauffman
Targeted market
"When two people are under the influence of the
most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they
are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and
exhausting condition continuously until death do them part."
–
George Bernard Shaw
Brief history
"My wife and I were
happy for twenty years. Then we
met!" –
Rodney Dangerfield
"I was
married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." –
Groucho
Marx
"Love
is blind –
marriage is the eye-opener." –
Pauline Thomason
"In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar,
a practice which is still very much practiced."
– Helen Rowland
"Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't
have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to
hear about the way his mother cooked."
–
Kimberly Broyles
"Some people ask the secret of our long
marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." –
Henry Youngman
Milestones completed and future plans
"As soon as you find the one to marry, just shut up
and
listen."
– Unknown
"Marriage is a ceremony in which
rings are put in the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman." –
Herbert Spencer
"Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating
and debating."
–
Ray Bandy
"A man is incomplete until he is
married. After that, he is finished." – Zsa Zsa Gabor
"No woman marries for money; they are all clever
enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first."
–
Cesare Pavese
"No man is truly married until he understands every
word his wife is NOT saying."
– Unknown
"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband." –
Montaigne
"Why does a woman work ten years
to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?" –
Barbara Streisand
"How can a woman be expected to
be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly
normal human being."
–
Oscar
Wilde
"The four most important words in
any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
– Unknown
Product
"Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of
love, but of mummifying the corpse."
– P. G. Wodehouse
Operational plan
"Keep your eyes wide open before
marriage, and half shut afterwards."
–
Benjamin Franklin
Development risk
"Marrying a man is like buying
something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it
when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the
house." – Jean Kerr
"Women marry men hoping they will
change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed." –
Albert Einstein
"It takes two to make a marriage
a success and only one to make it a failure." –
Herbert Samuels
Risk management strategy
"Many marriages would be better
if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side."
–
Zig Ziglar
"I think men who have a pierced
ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought
jewelry."
–
Rita Rudner
Growth risk
"A husband is what is left of the
lover after the nerve has been extracted." –
Helen Rowland
"It is as hard to get a man to
stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you
married him." –
Helen Rowland
"With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said
my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!"
–
Rodney Dangerfield
Risk management strategy
"An archeologist is the best husband any woman can
have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." –
Agatha Christie
"For the sake of your marriage,
get a king-size bed. And if you really want to say married, get two." –
Ray Romano
Other risks
"Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake
all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep
before you finish saying it." –
Helen Rowland
Risk management strategy
"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't
want to interrupt her." –
Rodney Dangerfield
"Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten
her at first."
– Billy Sunday
Analysis
"All tragedies are finished by a death, all
comedies by a marriage." –
Lord Byron
"Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake
of marrying the whole girl."
– Stephen B. Leacock
"A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to comprehend his
cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it." – Israel Zongwill
"Bigamy is having one wife too
many. Monogamy is the same."
–
Oscar
Wilde
"Making love to your wife is like
shooting at sitting ducks."
– Groucho Marx
"The man who says his wife can't
take a joke, forgets that she took him."
–
Oscar
Wilde
"What the world really needs is
more
love and less paperwork."
– Pearl Bailey
Competition
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"If it weren't for marriage, men
and women would have to fight with total strangers." –
Unknown
Marketing strategy
"That married couples can live
together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked." –
Bill Cosby
Funds Required and Uses
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage." –
James Holt McGavran
Financial Projections
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is
marvelous. It must be very inexpensive." – Johnny Carson
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