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Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent
and not enough time
on what is important. |
Stephen R. Covey |
A Most
Helpful Customer Review |
This is a
must-have book
As the title of the book implies, Covey
describes the seven habits of highly effective people and
techniques for adopting the seven habits. Covey makes clear
that an individual must make a paradigm shift before
incorporating these habits into his/her own
personal life.
A paradigm is essentially the way an individual perceives
something. Covey emphasizes that if we want to
make a change
in our lives, we should probably first focus on our personal
attitudes and behaviors. He applies different examples
via family, business, and society in general.
This book's focal point is on
an approach to obtain
personal
and
interpersonal
effectiveness. Covey points out that private victories
precede public victories. He makes the example that making
and keeping promises to ourselves comes before making and
keeping promises to others.
Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal
with self-mastery. They move an individual from dependency
on others to independence. Habits 4, 5, and 6 deal
with
teamwork,
cooperation, and
communication.
These habits deal with transforming a person from dependency
to independence to interdependence. Interdependence simply
means mutual dependence. Habit 7 embodies all of the
other habits to help an individual work toward
continuous improvement.
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Habit 1 discusses the
importance of
being proactive.
Covey states that we are responsible for our own lives;
therefore, we possess the initiative to make things happen.
He also points out that
proactive people so not blame
various circumstances for their behaviors but they realize
behavior comes from one's conscious. Covey also explains
that the other type of person is reactive. Reactive people
are affected by their social as well as physical
surroundings. This means that if the weather is bad, then it
affects their behavior such as their attitude and
performance.
He also explains that all
problems that are experienced by individuals fall into one
of three categories, which are direct control, indirect
control, or no control. The problems that are classified
under direct control are the problems that involve our own
behavior. The problems classified as indirect control
encompasses problems that we can do little about. The
problems classified as no control are those that we can do
nothing about.
Habit 2 focuses on beginning
with the end in mind. Covey wants the reader to envision
his/her funeral. This may sound disheartening but his goal
is to help you think about the words that you wish to be
said about you; it can help the individual visualize what
you value the most. To begin with the end simply means to
start with your destination in mind. That gives an
individual a sense of where he/she presently is in their
life. One has to know where they are going to make sure that
they are headed in the right direction. Covey also mentions
that the most effective way to begin with the end is by
developing
a personal mission statement. After doing that,
you should identify your center of attention. Are you
spouse
centered,
money centered, family centered, etc. The he tells
you depending on you core of interest, your foundation for
security, guidance, and power.
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Habit 3 is the practical fulfillment of Habits 1 and 2.
Covey accentuates that Habits 1 and 2 are prerequisite to
Habit 3. He states that an individual cannot become
principle centered developing their own proactive nature; or
without being aware of your paradigms; or the capability of
envisioning the contribution that is yours to make. One must
have an independent will. This is the
ability to make
decisions and to act in accordance with them.
Habit 4 deals with the
six paradigms of interaction, which
are
win/win, win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win, and win/win
or no deal. Win/win is a situation in which everyone
benefits something. It is not your way or my way; it is a
better way. Win/lose declares that if I win then you lose.
Simply put, I get my way; you don't get yours. Win/lose
people usually use position, power, possessions, or
personality to get their way. The win/lose type of person is
the person that feels that if I lose; you win. People who
feel this way are usually easy to please and find the
strength of others intimidating. When two win/lose people
get together both will lose resulting in a lose/lose
situation. Both will try to get the upper end of the stick
but in the end, neither gets anything. The person that
simply thinks to win secures their own ends and leaves it up
to others to secure theirs. The win/win or no deal person
means that if there is not a suitable solution met that
satisfies both parties then there is no agreement.
Habit 5 deals with seeking means of
effective communication.
This habit deals with seeking first to understand. However,
we usually seek first to be understood. Most people to not
listen with the intent to understand but with the intent to
reply. The act of listening to understand is referred to as
empathic listening. That means you try to get into the
person's frame of mind and think as they are thinking.
Habit 6 discuses combining all of the other habits to
prepare us for the habit of
synergy. Synergy means that the
sum of the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Possessing all of the habits will benefit an individual more
than possessing one or two of them. Synergism in
communication allows you to open your mind to new
possibilities or new options.
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Habit 7 involves surrounds the other habits because it is
the habit that makes all of the others possible. It is
amplifying the greatest asset you have which is yourself. It
is renewing your physical, emotional, mental, and social
nature. The physical scope involves caring for yourself
effectively. Spiritual renewal will take more time. Our
mental development comes through formal education. Quality
literature in our field of study as well as other fields
help to broaden our paradigms. Renewing the social dimension
is not as time consuming as the others. We can start by our
everyday interactions with people.
Moving along the upward spiral requires us to
continuously
learn,
commit, and do on higher planes. This is essential to
keep progressing. At the end of each habit, there are
application suggestions or exercises that help you become a
more effective person. This is definitely not a quick fix it
book. The concepts should be studied in order to be fully
achieved. I think if you learn to use these 7 habits, it
will
change your life.
This is a must-have book.
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