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Influencing People: How To Influence
People
Every hour of
every day, in every organization, at every level,
influential people succeed and non-influential people
don't. “There are always two choices: either you can
persuade others to help you or you can be persuaded to
help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not
aware that every human interaction involves a complex
process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware,
they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others
rather than the ones who are doing the persuading.”
(Brian Tracy)
Great leaders,
coaches and communicators don't focus extremely on their
followers, players and audience. They have a high degree
of self-awareness. We all have basic skills to lead,
coach, or communicate; unfortunately, most of us have a
few psychological blocks when it comes to applying those
skills well and consistently. Knowing yourself will help
you overcome your own blocks.
Rapport is the
key to influence. Rapport and influence start with
acceptance of the other person's point of view, their
state and their style of communication. To influence you
have to be able to appreciate and understand the other
person's standpoint. And these work both ways: I cannot
influence you without being open to influence myself.
‘Tao Te
Ching’, Verse 36
–
written by
Lao-Tzu
If you want
something to return to the source, you must first allow
it to spread out.
If you want
something to weaken, you must first allow it to become
strong.
If you want
something to be removed, you must first allow it to
flourish.
If you want to
possess something, you must first give it away.
This is called
the subtle understanding of how things are meant to be.
The soft and
pliable overcomes the hard and inflexible.
Just as fish
remain hidden in deep waters, it is best to keep weapons
out of sight.
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